Presented by BetterHelp
If you love someone who is struggling with addiction, it’s natural to feel a whirlwind of emotions – helplessness, fear, confusion and uncertainty about how to help them. Each person’s situation is unique, and there’s no one-size-fits-all solution.
In the United States, millions of individuals experience substance use disorders, commonly known as addiction. And despite the prevalence of these conditions, many do not receive the treatment they need. As a result, it often falls on the shoulders of family and friends to encourage their loved ones to seek help.
But – understanding the symptoms of substance use disorders, recognizing codependency in relationships, and knowing where to find help are essential steps in supporting your loved one.
Let’s take a closer look.
Symptoms of Substance Use Disorders
Recognizing the signs of a substance use disorder is the first step toward helping your loved one. Some common symptoms include the following:
- Using more of a substance than intended
- Trying to quit or cut back but being unable to do so
- Continued substance use despite knowing it causes problems
- Cravings for the substance
- Interpersonal conflicts related to substance use
- Neglecting responsibilities at work, school or home
- Using substances in risky situations
- Spending excessive time seeking and using substances
- Giving up important activities for substance use
- Developing tolerance and experiencing withdrawal symptoms when stopping substance use
If you notice these signs in someone you care about, it’s essential to address the issue with care and understanding.
Talking to Your Loved One: Approaching the Conversation with Care
Convincing someone to seek help for their addiction requires sensitivity and strategic communication. Here are some tips for initiating the conversation:
- Do your research: Before broaching the topic, educate yourself about addiction and available treatment options. Understanding the signs of substance misuse and the various forms of treatment will better equip you for the discussion.
- Recognize the signs: Familiarize yourself with the signs and symptoms of substance misuse, such as unsuccessful attempts to quit, neglecting responsibilities and experiencing withdrawal symptoms. Identifying these behaviors will help you express your concerns effectively.
- Know the treatment options: Learn about different treatment modalities, including detoxification, inpatient rehab, outpatient programs and after-care services. Having this knowledge allows you to suggest viable solutions during the conversation. Read more here about treatment options: https://www.betterhelp.com/advice/counseling/is-a-substance-abuse-counselor-right-for-me/
- Consult a professional: Consider seeking guidance from a medical or mental health care professional before speaking to your loved one. A health care provider can offer valuable insights and may even accompany you to the discussion.
- Have an honest conversation: Approach the conversation with empathy and without judgment. Choose an appropriate time to talk, and focus on expressing your concerns calmly and clearly.
Setting Boundaries and Providing Support: Navigating Relationships
Establishing boundaries is essential for maintaining a healthy relationship while supporting your loved one’s recovery journey. Here’s how you can set boundaries effectively:
- Communicate clearly: Clearly communicate your expectations regarding behavior related to substance use, financial assistance or other aspects of your relationship.
- Be compassionate: Approach the conversation with love and understanding, emphasizing your desire to support your loved one’s well-being. Using non-stigmatizing language and expressing empathy can help foster a supportive atmosphere.
- Take a substance use self-assessment: Encourage your loved one to take a self-assessment to evaluate the severity of their substance use disorder. This assessment can serve as a starting point for discussing their treatment needs.
Codependency in Relationships
Living with someone who struggles with addiction can deeply impact your relationship in emotional, physical and financial ways. In fact, you may find yourself engaging in codependent behaviors without realizing it. Codependency involves enabling your loved one’s substance use by over-functioning for them while neglecting your own well-being.
Examples of codependent actions include making excuses for their behavior, covering up for them – and even taking on their responsibilities. Despite the confusion it may cause outsiders, codependency stems from a place of love and a desire to help.
But the truth is – enabling behaviors only perpetuates the cycle of addiction.
Ending Codependency with Someone Who is Addicted
Breaking free from codependency is challenging, but essential, for your well-being and that of your loved one. Here are some steps you can take:
- Allow your loved one to face the consequences of their actions.
- Stop covering for them or trying to control their substance use.
- Express your concerns and encourage them to seek treatment.
- Prioritize your own self-care and well-being.
While these steps may seem difficult, they are necessary for both your and your loved one’s recovery journey.
Seeking Involuntary Treatment: Exploring Legal Options
In some cases, involuntary treatment may be necessary if a loved one poses a danger to themselves or others due to their addiction. While involuntary commitment laws vary by jurisdiction, they typically require certification from a medical professional to start the process.
What If We Both Have an Addiction?
In some cases, both partners may experience addiction and codependency. It’s essential to prioritize seeking help for yourselves individually and as a couple. Consider the following:
- Attending treatment together
- Seeking therapy for addiction counseling
- Taking steps to break free from codependency while supporting each other’s recovery journey
Remember, addiction is a disease that requires professional help and ongoing support from loved ones.
Final Thoughts
Supporting a loved one with a substance use disorder can feel overwhelming, but it’s essential to remember that help is available. By understanding the symptoms, recognizing codependency and seeking support, you can navigate this challenging journey with care and compassion.
Remember to prioritize your own well-being and seek help when needed. Recovery is possible, both for your loved one and for yourself.